Dahr Jamail is one of only a handful of independent journalists to spend time in occupied Iraq. He spent 8 months there. The following is him interviewing soldiers returning from Iraq.
** Dahr Jamail's Iraq Dispatches **** http://dahrjamailiraq.com ** August 05, 2005 "What Have We Done?"As the blood of US soldiers continues to drain into the hot sands ofIraq over the last several days with at least 27 US soldiers killed andthe approval rating for his handling of the debacle in Iraq dropping toan all-time low of 38%, Mr. Bush commented from the comforts of hisranch in Crawford, Texas today, “We will stay the course, we willcomplete the job in Iraq.”Just a two hour drive away in Dallas, at the Veterans for Peace NationalConvention in Dallas, I’m sitting with a roomful of veterans from thecurrent quagmire.When asked what he would say to Mr. Bush if he had the chance to speakto him, Abdul Henderson, a corporal in the Marines who served in Iraqfrom March until May, 2003, took a deep breath and said, “It would betwo hits-me hitting him and him hitting the floor. I see this guy in themost prestigious office in the world, and this guy says ‘bring it on.’ Aguy who ain’t never been shot at, never seen anyone suffering, saying‘bring it on?’ He gets to act like a cowboy in a western movie…it’ssickening to me.”The other vets with him nod in agreement as he speaks somberly…his angerseething.One of them, Alex Ryabov, a corporal in an artillery unit which was inIraq the first three months of the invasion, asked for some time toformulate his response to the same question.“I don’t think Bush will ever realize how many millions of lives he andhis lackeys have ruined on their quest for money, greed and power,” hesays, “To take the patriotism of the American people for granted…thefact that people (his administration) are willing to lie and makeexcuses for you while you continue to kill and maim the youth of Americaand ruin countless families…and still manage to do so with a smile onyour face.”Taking a deep breath to steady himself he continues as if addressingBush first-hand; “You needs to resign, take the billions of dollarsyou’ve made off the blood and sweat of US service members….all thesuffering you’ve caused us, and put those billions of dollars into theVA to take care of the men and women you sent to be slaughtered. Yet allthose billions aren’t enough to even try to compensate all the peoplewho have been affected by this.”These new additions to Veterans for Peace are actively living thestatement of purpose of the organization, having pledged to work withothers towards increasing public awareness of the costs of war, to workto restrain their government from intervening, overtly and covertly, inthe internal affairs of other nations and to see justice for veteransand victims of war, among other goals.I type furiously for three hours, trying to keep up with the storieseach of the men shared….about the atrocities of what they saw, andcommitted, while in Iraq.Camilo Mejia, an army staff sergeant who was sentenced to a year inmilitary prison in May, 2004 for refusing to return to Iraq after beinghome on leave, talks openly about what he did there:“What it all comes down to is redemption for what was done there. I wasturning ambulances away from going to hospitals, I killed civilians, Itortured guys…and I’m ashamed of that. Once you are there, it hasnothing to do with politics…it has to do with you as an individual beingthere and killing people for no reason. There is no purpose, and now I’msick at myself for doing these things. I kept telling myself I was therefor my buddies. It was a weak reasoning…because I still shut my mouthand did my job.”Mejia then spoke candidly about why he refused to return:“It wasn’t until I came home that I felt it-how wrong it all was andthat I was a coward for pushing my principles aside. I’m trying to buymy way back into heaven…and it’s not so much what I did, but what Ididn’t do to stop it when I was there. So now it’s a way of trying toundo the evil that we did over there. This is why I’m speaking out, andnot going back. This is a painful process and we’re going through it.”Camilo Mejia was then quick to point towards the success of hisorganization and his colleagues. “When I went back to Iraq in October of2003, the Pentagon said there were 22 AWOL’s. Five months later it was500, and when I got out of jail that number was 5,000. These are thePentagons’ numbers for the military. Two things are significant here-thenumber went from 500-5,000 in 11 months, and these are the numbers fromthe Pentagon.”While the military is falling short of its recruitment goals across theboard and the disaster in Iraq spiraling deeper into chaos with eachpassing day, these are little consolation for these men who have paidthe price they’ve had to pay to be at this convention. They continue topay, but at the same time stand firm in their resolve to bring an end tothe occupation of Iraq and to help their fellow soldiers.Ryabov then begins to tell of his unit firing the wrong artillery roundswhich hit 5-10 km from their intended target.“We have no idea where those rounds fell, or what they hit,” he saysquietly while two of the men hold their heads in their hands, “Now we’vecome to these realizations and we’re trying to educate people to savethem from going through the same thing.”After talking of the use of uranium munitions, of which Ryabov stated300 tons of which were used in the ’91 Gulf War, and 2,200 tons andcounting having been used thus far in the current war, he adds, “We wereput in a foreign country and fire artillery and kill people…and itshouldn’t have even happened in the first place. It’s hard to put intowords the full tragedy of it-the death and suffering on both sides. Ifeel a grave injustice has been done and I’m trying to correct it. Youdo all these things and come back and think, ‘what have we done?’ Wejust rolled right by an Iraqi man with a gunshot in his thigh and twoguys near him waving white flags….he probably bled to death.”Harvey Tharp sitting with us served in Kirkuk. His position of being incharge of some reconstruction projects in northern Iraq allowed him toform many close friendships with Iraqis…something that prompts him toask me to tell more people of the generous culture of the Iraqi people.His friendships apparently brought the war much closer to home for him.“What I concluded last summer when I was waiting to transfer to NSA wasthat not only were our reasons for being there lies, but we just weren’tthere to help the Iraqis. So in November of ‘04 I told my commander Icouldn’t take part in this. I would have been sent into Fallujah, and hewas going to order me in to do my job. I also chose not to go backbecause the dropping of bombs in urban areas like Fallujah are aviolation of the laws of warfare because of the near certainty ofcollateral damage. For me, seeing the full humanity of Iraqis made merealize I couldn’t participate in these operations.”Tharp goes on to say that he believes there are still Vietnam vets whothink that that was a necessary war and adds, “I think it’s because thatkeeps the demons at bay for them to believe it is justified…this istheir coping mechanism. We, as Americans, have to face the total obvioustruth that this was all because of a lie. We are speaking out because wehave to speak out. We want to help other vets tell other vets theirstory…to keep people from drinking themselves to death.”When he is asked what he would say to Mr. Bush if he had a few momentswith him, he too took some time to think about it, then says, “It isobvious that middle America is starting to turn against this war and toturn against you…for good reason. The only thing I could see that wouldarrest this inevitable fall that you deserve, is another 9/11 or anotherwar with say, Iran. There are some very credible indications in themedia that we are already in pre-war with Iran. What I’m trying to do isfind a stand Americans can take against you, but I think people arewilling to say ‘don’t you dare do this to us again.’ My message to theAmerican people is this-do you want to go another round with thesepeople? If not-now is the time to say so.”The men are using this time to tell more of why they are resisting theillegal occupation, and it’s difficult to ask new questions as they areadding to what one another share.“I didn’t want to kill another soul for no reason. That’s it,” addsHenderson, “We were firing into small towns….you see people justrunning, cars going, guys falling off bikes…it was just sad. You justsit there and look through your binos and see things blowing up, and youthink, man they have no water, living in the third world, and we’re justbombing them to hell. Blowing up buildings, shrapnel tearing people toshreds.”Tharp jumps in and adds, “Most of what we’re talking about is warcrimes…war crimes because they are directed by our government for powerprojection. My easy answer for not going is PTSD…but the deeper moralreason is that I didn’t want to be involved in a crime against humanity.”Ryabov then adds, “We were put in a foreign country to fire artilleryand kill people…and it shouldn’t have even happened in the first place.It’s hard to put into words the full tragedy of it-the death andsuffering on both sides. I feel a grave injustice has been done and I’mtrying to correct it. You do all these things and come back and think,what have we done?”Michael Hoffman served as a Marine Corps corporal who fought in Tikritand Baghdad, and has since become a co-founder of Iraq Veterans Againstthe War.“Nobody wants to kill another person and think it was because of a lie.Nobody wants to think their service was in vain,” says Hoffman.His response to what he would say to Mr. Bush is simple, “I would lookhim straight in the eye and ask him ‘why?’ And I would hold him thereand make him answer me. He never has to deal with us one on one. I darehim to talk to any of us like that, one on one, and give us an answer.”Hoffman then adds, “What about the 3 year old Iraqi girl who is now anorphan with diseases and nightmares for the rest of her life for what wedid? And the people who orchestrated this don’t have to pay anything.How many times are my children going to have to go through this? Ouronly choice is to fight this to try to stop it from happening again.”Earlier this same day Mr. Bush said, “We cannot leave this task halffinished, we must take it all the way to the end.”However, Charlie Anderson, another Iraq veteran, had strong words forBush. After discussing how the background radiation in Baghdad is nowfive times the normal rate-the equivalent of having 3 chest x-rays anhour, he said, “These are not accidents-the DU [Depleted Uraniaum]-it’simportant for people to understand this-the use of DU and its effectsare by design. These are very carefully engineered and orchestratedincidents.”While the entire group nods in agreement and two other soldiers stand upto shake his hand, Anderson says firmly, “You subverted us, youdestroyed our lives, you owe us. I want your resignation in my hand inthe next five minutes. Get packin’ Georgie.”_______________________________________________More writing, photos and commentary at http://dahrjamailiraq.comYou are subscribed to the Dahr Jamail's email Iraq Dispatches because you requested a subscription at some point.You can visit http://dahrjamailiraq.com/email_list/ to subscribe or unsubscribe to the email list.Or, you can unsubscribe by sending an email to iraq_dispatches-request@dahrjamailiraq.com and write unsubscribe in the subject or the body of the email.(c)2004, 2005 Dahr Jamail.All images and text are protected by United States and international copyright law. If you would like to reprint Dahr's Dispatches on the web, you need to include this copyright notice and a prominent link to the DahrJamailIraq.com website. Any other use of images and text including, but not limited to, reproduction, use on another website, copying and printing requires the permission of Dahr Jamail. 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